Today in RS they were talking about the definition of “delight”… I delight in my family – my little microcosm of the world.
My friend Kim dropped off my little 22 month old in RS today because she made a surprise for me in her diaper. After I changed her I asked her if she’d like to go back to nursery or hang with momma. She chose me of course. I was … not so secretly, pleased. She proceeded to root out the Clif Kid fruit twists in my purse and partook of the cookies passed around in RS. Towards the end of the lesson as she was walking around in the back, she began to sing. She was sitting in the seat behind me… and I was doing everything to get her to stop, or sing quietly. I don’t mind kids singing in lessons…but I know that not everyone thinks kids are adorable like I do. So I’m frantically trying to get her to “shhh” and even gently placed my hand over her mouth… that only made her sing louder. Then at the most quiet part of the lesson she stops… and momentarily I breathe out… to hear her say “Stop Mommy, I’m singing!!!” Quiet giggles filled the room. As if it’s possible to love her even more…my delicious little one.
My 3.5 year old has been attending summer school preschool. She has a boyfriend… one of many. All of which she is going to marry in the temple. She came home at the beginning of the session saying that “Mommy, we can only blow kisses.” Apparently the teachers had to tell both my daughter and her special boyfriend that they can’t actually kiss each other …they have to do air kisses with their palms.
I dropped her off a little late one day and as soon as we walk in the little boy R shouts out “K’s here!” I’m standing at the door watching my daughter take her backpack and lunch to her cubby and watched her struggle with her back pack zipper. She started to cry in frustration and as I ran over to her – the little guy R ran over and looked at the teachers, “K’s crying!!!” Then he cames over to her and gently patted her on the shoulder. Then before anyone did anything he wrapped his arm around my daughter and planted a kiss on her cheek. I had to turn away so I could giggle. It was so sweet. My daughter’s getting more action than I ever did. I was 19 before I was kissed. So cute… these little people.
Maybe I’m not normal…but I totally delight in my girls. I am endlessly fascinated by them. Do they occasionally drive me crazy. YES! Especially when the decibel levels are broken by their, in unison screaming… but I always know that they are souls, old souls that I knew before this existence. They are here to teach me, just as much … more so than I could ever teach them. I’m not special… I don’t have any great wisdom to bestow upon them. They aren’t jackpot winners because I am their mother… they are my temporary stewardship – they belong to God. I am responsible for them…for their heartaches and silliness. I want them to know that I love them just because they exist. Not because they can do anything spectacular… not because they will make mistakes… just because they are a part of me – as I am a part of them. I’m here for the adventure, just as they are.
Perhaps I have a flawed memory…but I don’t remember ever wanting to escape my girls. That makes me… at least in my ward – not normal. Why is that?